Killing It

Like a Boss

I'm about as excited as a coked out Paul Crik right now. Despite the obstacles of the last few months, I've managed to meet each financial goal as it has come, and kick it in the face. You know how we do - like a boss. 

In December I paid off Tiny Car. That's $10,200 in three months. That's awesome. May we have many more adventures together, my friend. Tiny Car is kind of a beast. Picture a Hyundai hatchback off-roading in the desert. Yeah, I'd say Tiny Car is killin' it. 

Last week I officially met my goal of "$10k net worth by the end of January." Heck yes. This is after buying airfare to the opposite side of the globe, groceries, and accounting for medical bills. Exciting stuff. I love making goals, setting up plans to achieve them, and following through to see the payoff. That's one of the most satisfying things ever.

Outstanding Debts:

• Sallie Mae: $0, I win.
• Tiny Car: $0, I win times two.
• Freak-Spider-Attack ER Visit: $614

Yeah, freak-spider-attack ended up costing twice the initial amount. I've been too pissed to pay it all off at once because all they did was leave me in a room and give me cookies. Those were the most expensive cookies in the history of the world.

Next Up?
Research and open a Roth 401k. Ideally I'd be maxing it out before April so that it counts for FY2011. Pretty sweet. I love tax diversifying my retirement income! Say that in a cheesy 1950s commercial voice. Feel free to add hand motions. Thumbs up. Next up, thumbs up. 

Today I got paid

Cash Money, Baby
Today I got paid. As that cash hit the bank my net worth completed its metamorphosis - delicately, like a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis in spectacular array - from red to black. That's right, positive net worth for the first time in two years! I'm pretty excited about this achievement, considering freak-spider-attack ER visit set me back $400*.

Achieving positive net worth was Goal #2 for the year. So it looks like I'm on track. This year's third and final goal is a bit more difficult: achieving debt freedom. Goal #1, "Project Kick Sallie Mae in the Face," has helped out with that one ($23k in student loans paid off). Current debts include Tiny Car's payment and these new, exciting hospital bills. First payments for both went out early this week.

Outstanding Debts:

• Sallie Mae: $0, I win. 
• Tiny Car: $6800
• Freak-Spider-Attack ER Visit: $324

*Freak-Spider-Attack Update
Speaking of the freak-spider-attack, it's been two and a half weeks and I still notice that something isn't quite right. Currently it appears the bite site is mutating into a small blister-like bump. That's new. It's like debt - forget about it long enough and that interest builds up menacingly, just below the surface, into a freak-spider-bite bump of evil.

That's a silly way to end this post, but I'm ok with it.

Robert Burns Fund

Heh, today let's talk about the importance of an emergency fund...

I like to think I'm a pretty smart person, but in creating my super awesome debt-payoff plan I neglected to first set aside the recommended six months of fixed expenses in case of emergency - or freak black widow spider attack from the bowels of hell.

That was Tuesday.

One ambulance ride and a three hour ER visit later I'm looking at potentially a rather large bill.

Fortunately I have a couple grand stashed in the pay-car-off account that was to go out later this month. Worst case scenario: debt-freedom gets pushed out a month or two, and net worth goals for the year cry softly to themselves as 2012 kicks them to the gutter.

This is one of those life lessons I suppose. Prepare for the unexpected. Even if you don't think it could ever happen to you, plan for the freak evil-psychotic-demon-spider-from-hell accidents in life.

"But little Mouse, you are not alone,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often askew..."  

Robert Burns knew what was up. Time to actually set up that emergency fund. Maybe I'll call it my Robert Burns fund. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

Peace out Sallie Mae

Today my last student loan payment went through.

Sallie Mae, you've done a lot. You've helped me get a brilliant degree and maybe a job. You let me live abroad for a year. You've even given me something to work toward: eliminating you from my life. And so, kudos. Way to be awesome. Way to be out of my life.

It's taken 7 months with a lot of scrimping and saving, but now I'm free! The ramen noodle lifestyle is a small price to pay... for Sallie Mae freeeeeedom! Yes, totally worth it - even when I got teased for not having room for juice in my budget, even then. If all goes according to plan, I should be debt free for the new year. Just that pesky car loan, a necessary (at the time) evil.

Ha!

Hello Reality

I had a conversation with a coworker last Friday, while treading water in a pool no less. Apparently her life sucks. When I asked why, she told me money is tight... and that she has over $160k in student loan debt.

And now we're treading in the deep end.

$160k in student loan debt is scary, but that's not all. I know she's bought a house in the past couple of years, does a lot of home improvement projects, and just bought a new truck. Well, actions have consequences. We've both been through physics. We both know Newton's First Law of Motion. Nothing here is going to change unless someone/something causes that change. Of course money is going to be tight under current circumstances.

Probing a little deeper, she didn't seem to have a plan to pay things off and end this unpleasantness. It seemed like she'd rather forget they exist; out of sight, out of mind. Drown in escapism.

Escapism kind of brings us out into the wide world of philosophy. I have this great mental image of philosophers pulling ideas from the air like ribbons of smoke: chaotic and dispersing. Their job is to track the smoke to its source and find that initial kernel of truth. Tangent aside, I can't help thinking that escapism as a philosophy has shaped modern American spending among other things.

So I'm sitting here, thinking about this, still trying to find the parameters of this life after college. Some days it sucks to have to pay bills and maintain a car - psssh, some days it's hard enough to wake up and go to work - but right now this is what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to formulate plans to tackle my debts and stash away the dolla dolla bills for retirement. I'm not splashing around just enough to keep my head above water; I'm taking that extra effort to swim to the side, and right now the end is in sight. Hello reality, I'm Jane. Nice to meet you.

Hello World

I wonder if oatmeal tea is something ordinary people survive on, or if I've been the only person in existence to use it for subsistence.

Flashback to a year ago - well little more if we're being precise - and I was a poor graduate student, out of state, out of country, very limited resources. I had a student loan from Sallie Mae and about two suitcases of belongings. I don't regret taking this opportunity (and loan) to study at a prestigious school, but it's definitely made a difference in my financial life upon returning stateside.

And so, now that I have a real live big-person job and am in repayment, personal finance is kind of becoming a hobby. Woo! Maybe I'll even write about it.

Oatmeal tea
Definition: "A warm hug for one's tummy." Consisting of instant oatmeal and black English tea, the concoction both warms and fills one's stomach whilst providing the necessary caffeine boost so integral to the life of a graduate student.